never have i written something this personal to publish, but last night i had to write. i wasn’t sure if i was going to publish this or not for everyone to see, but as i look at people’s statuses and hear about how everyone is doing everyone is going through the same thing. i feel like i should publish this so that God can do His work, whatever that might be.
in this moment i know for sure that God’s touch is too real for me to comprehend. in all of my stresses and everything i have going on my life, i feel You here with me now. Lord please help me to deal with these stresses and burdens that i carry. You are the only one who can take this yoke from me. i feel so overwhelmed but have no where to run, my stress and life just keeps me here. i see Your hand comforting me in ways i wouldn’t have thought of. You have brought so much into my life. just to imagine this moment, right now, is you is making me shake. Lord, my eyes are foggy, but i know your providence and i know my labor isn’t in vain. all this work i have to do, all of this reading, all of this studying, building relationships, those moments are You. You are guiding me so that all of my moments can be You. i don’t understand it, i don’t comprehend it, i can’t understand Your ways. even in those moments, i know all the more strongly that those moments are You. you remain in my life for reasons i don’t understand when i’m so weak. You stay with me and help me fight this when i cannot stand on my own two feet. You stand in front of the winds in this hurricane, blocking all of the rain and debris so that i can stand and be truly blessed by You. oh Lord, how you’ve blessed me in ways i cannot even begin to fathom! Day after day Your love remains and You remain true. You are God with us and Your word stands true there is none like You (Starfield). Lord i know You are shaping me to become the man i am meant to be, and even though these times are hard i know these moments are still You. you remain faithful no matter what filth i get into, no matter what i do, your hand still beckons me back to You and welcomes me into your arms. who am i to deserve this love? who am i that You God are working in my life like this? Lord, i do know one thing, in all of these moments, i thirst after You. i want more of You. i don’t understand this desire other than it’s You. i don’t want anything other than what You want for my life. i just want all of these moments in my life- stresses, triumphs, joys, sorrows, pains, elations, boring, and exciting- i want them all to be You.