I have often heard people wonder why men, especially celebrities, with wives that look like supermodels cheat on them. I have wondered the same thing. On the outside, they should have no reason (and in all reality they shouldn’t) to cheat on someone so ‘beautiful.’ Maybe it doesn’t have to go with to that level. Maybe it doesn’t have to be a celebrity. Maybe you can wonder why a seemingly amazing Christian guy with a gorgeous wife is addicted to pornography. Isn’t she attractive enough for him?
As a preface, I am going to lean on one direction on this so that this particular point out of many is showcased. I hope it sheds light into an area that is forgotten. Men are blamed to be pigs in this area. Most of the time, I would agree. They follow their eyes and when lust has conceived it gives birth to sin. This area is well showcased in the damage it can do in statistics, life lived, and movies like Fireproof. I don’t want to throw around blame, but merely point to an area that gets overlooked because men act this way so frequently. Since men act this way, I have been getting the feeling (and have been seeing) that women neglect their own character. They let the men take the fall, thinking that it is no use to be a ‘better person’ because all men look at is their bodies. Oh the lies of Satan! They fall themselves because they don’t think their character is worth anything. Rather, they think they need to flaunt their beauty in order to attract a worthy male. Is anyone getting a picture of how destructive of a cycle this is? Where beauty is flaunted, character is neglected. Marriages are founded on pure attraction and romantic feelings at best. They have nothing solid to stand on. Things get rough, the man gets unhappy with his trophy wife, and starts looking out for another trophy catch. He jumps from stone to stone on a river where the hearts he seeks are as hard as the leaps he takes. They are plain and dull, lacking luster and magnificence. Each one is the same, smooth on the outside but dull and cold on the inside. In their pursuit of their outer beauty, they forget their inner.
What should be the most attractive thing about a woman (and especially anyone)? Their character, specifically their character in Christ. Without that inner beauty, that inner diamond and precious stone, there is nothing to keep anyone(speaking from worldly terms…the marriage bond should not be broken…see Scripture for more clarification on that matter) from moving on to another person just as ‘pretty.’ There are many cliche’d sayings like a woman’s heart should be so set in God that a man would have to seek God as well just to find her. How true I wish this statement would be! There are few women I have met, even in Christian circles, that truly exhibit this quality. I want to voice how frustrating it is for men who yearn after this precious quality, yet keep sifting but keep finding worthless pebbles. We men want so much to find woman who care and foster their beauty in Christ far above and beyond their outer beauty. That outer beauty should only at most complement what lies on the inside. It should not be a factor of predetermining what is on the inside based on what is on the outside. You’ve seen the celebrities, they are (men and women alike) beautiful on the outside, but their hearts are dark and full of sin. They lack the character and quality that a good marriage needs to survive, but better yet thrive. A man with his heart set on God (and most men with any kind of sense), should hold so much value in this inner beauty that their wife possesses that the thought of someone else should repulse them. A man says in his mind, “Sure, that other woman is beautiful, but I know that she can’t hold a candle to what my wife has – especially if she is willing to flaunt her body in such a way. NO THANKS!” Women, you want a husband that is loyal to you? Grow and let Christ polish your inner beauty through His unfailing love and refining fire. And it’s time men see women as God sees everyone – by their hearts.
Women, please understand what we are looking for. Do not try to make yourself attractive on the outside, because that only attracts what you are trying to lure. That is, a man who sees mostly, if not all, on the outside. Not only that, but you are catching men’s eyes whom you shouldn’t be catching. Those can be anything from your friends to pastors and professors. We long to be sexual pure in a culture where it is anything but, yet we have women who fail to see where what they are wearing (or not) is getting them and what those ramifications are. If you chose to be more decent, tried to tidy up what is on the inside instead of putting makeup on the outside and wearing a tight shirt, and as the cliche goes, set your heart deep in God, you will be blessed. If not in the immediate future (i.e. a husband who genuinely loves who you are instead of what you are), then in the eternal future when you can look your Savior in the eyes and say that you were beautiful just for Him.
Men, I hope you believe as I do that we must not pay attention to what is on the outside, because it can be incredibly misleading. Your eyes might like the skin deep, but your heart won’t like what lies beneath the surface. You will jump from stone to stone seeking what is pleasing to your eyes, never to be satisfied. Please don’t fall into the trap that the world has set that what is sexually appealing is the only way to go. Satan has been misleading males, and especially Christian males, for too long. Please see past the lie that beauty is only on the outside and you are lucky to find something good underneath. Let it be the other way around. Maybe it will change our thinking about things and maybe it will foster better relationships if we only put this into practice. Stop jumping from stone to stone, and seek your diamond in the rough.
I am only the vessel and pen behind the potter and writer. I am blessed to be given this knowledge in such a way that I can honor Christ through it. I seek to apply this knowledge in my own life. I pray that you can do the same with such. Our God is worthy of all glory 🙂