Where can I look?

I look to my left
And see the scantily clad woman
High heels clanking down the street

I look to my right
And the women in the window clear
Are mostly glistening plastic

I look up
The nightclub is having a discount
For their new loyal members

I look down
At my new magazine thought safe
Only to have to rip out pages

I look straight ahead
As the spring break women
Dance in thought safe places

There seems to be no escape
Even in safe places built with walls
To hide from subtle invasion

They invade the churches and schools
Not knowing their devil without
That entices many sets of eyes

They even invade our dreams
Thoughts hidden by closed doors
Battles rage within us

Can You open their hearts
So that they can see
What we see?

We desire only You,
Only You for our lives
Let us find only You

When we gaze at them
Let us see Your heart speak
Your Word has made us clean

Father, where can I look
To find a place to gaze
That honors You?

17 thoughts on “Where can I look?

  1. I have been struggling with sexual orientation for quite a while now. When my family first heard of it, they almost disowned me and encouraged me to straighten up or they would stop supporting me. Its weird but in a way, some guys make me feel better…better than any girl has ever made me feel. By this I mean, i am happy (nothing sexual or erotic). I have never had a girlfriend or anything ( maybe just one in high school, but she doesn’t count). Not too long ago, someone who used to go to TFC basically stalked my profiles and saw some things; they posted it all over my facebook calling me a FAG and questioned why I was attending a Bible college. Right then, i didn’t know how to take it or respond to his doings. I felt the evil presence in him, almost like Satan was trying to convict me through him. I can say that I am not GAY and not ashamed of myself at all. Maybe I admire some guys because they are beautiful…their self-image I guess is something I always admired. When it comes down to it, I’m not really a homosexual…just curious about life and explorations. My name is not really john and even with these confidentiality things, I cannot post up my real email. Yes, i am a student here and I struggle with my sexuality. That is all you need to know. I can’t help but let it break free. It makes me feel a lot better to too.

    • Yeah I get what you’re saying there. That’s not cool at all (to put it lightly) that this occurred. That’s definitely not good no matter how true or false it is to slander someone. I’m glad you commented on here, even though I don’t know who you are. I hope what you read helps you out in your walk with Christ, it’s why I post what I write online.

      I do have a question of clarification though; what do you mean by “I can’t help but let it break free. It makes me feel a lot better to too.” ?

      • When you let something out, it kind of sets it free…
        but what do you mean by “That’s not cool at all (to put it lightly) that this occurred. That’s definitely not good no matter how true or false it is to slander someone.”

  2. Ah yeah, talking about it, at least for me has lifted huge burdens off of my shoulders simply because I shared what was going on that I had hidden for a long time.

    I was referring to “someone who used to go to TFC basically stalked my profiles and saw some things.” It’s not good, to put it lightly that this happened. I hate when this stuff happens instead of coming along-side each other to help each other work through our problems and hear each other out.

    • Oh, my bad…Yes…I had a few websites and he basically stalked me on them…and one day he told me to repent and questioned why i was a tfc student when my life is so wrong. He called me names and made life very hard for me. All it was that he got from my websites was a fan sign for a buddy that i made. basically…fan signs shows that you are fans of certain people. it was like a tag. Creative that I was, I made one of a me biting into a squash…maybe in pictures it looked like something else…but he got my picture, posted it up on facebook and then called me all these dirty names like I was it. The sad thing was…he used to go to TFC and his dad just became a pastor…i think when he was here, he wanted to be a pastor, but now, he’s just a bum. I eventually forgave him, without letting him know…I figured that if God forgives, then I should too.

      • Wow, that’s intense. Sorry you had to go through that! Well, I’m very glad that you’ve forgiven him! That’s a tough thing to do, it’s really easy to hold bitterness toward someone when they attack you personally and hurt you like that.

  3. Dear John,

    I am so sorry to hear that you had to go through the things you went through. I don’t know where you are at currently with everything but I want you to know that you are not alone on this campus. Though you may not be “gay” you are still not alone. Things can be tough here for people like us who are questioning our sexuality. It is hard but I want to encourage you to push through. No matter what God does love you!!! Remember that and know that even though I do not know who you are I, a fellow student and one who struggles, is praying for you.

      • Dear John,
        Sorry my first post was deleted and I dont know why. hopefully this one stays up. Anyway, I want you to know that you are not alone on this campus. Even though you don’t consider yourself to be “gay” you at the very least admitted to be struggling. You are not alone. I want you to know that Even though I do not know who you are I am praying for you and I also am dealing with these same issues. I am sorry that you went though everything you went through. Toccoa may not be the safest place for people like us but I want you to know that you are not alone and if you are open to it I would love to get together and talk sometime.

    • Hey man, I just wanted to thank you for encouragement to John. It’s awesome to see that you are willing to come along side someone and help them through. It’s awesome to see what I desire for us at TFC and the church in general, is for people to come along-side each other in community to help each other work though their sin and their past. Keep it up and thanks again for your encouraging words to him!

  4. Hey guys,
    I struggle with my sexuality as well. It would be great to meet up sometime while here at TFC and talk. I graduate in May so we should do this soon if we do.

    Sexuality is a hard thing to deal with, and mine is because of past issues.

    Praying for y’all!
    B

  5. I would love to talk with you also someday John! I’ve struggled with that too! Please let me know if you would like to. God Bless!

    B!

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