About Kurt Germaine

I love to write, and I love to help others through what I write. I began writing this way, and will continue to do so Lord-willing as He gives me the words! That’s why I have this blog instead of all this stuff just sitting in notebooks and on my laptop. I hope you enjoy what you read. I hope it challenges you, encourages you, edifies you, and most of all points you to Him. To God be the glory.

Thoughts on gay marriage

How should we feel about legalizing gay marriage as Christians?

This question brings up a lot of derision and strong feelings. Conservative Christians do not feel like it is Biblical. As such, that is how they vote.

We have been given a power unprecedented in history. We have the freedom to vote based on our beliefs. We elect officials who hold our beliefs and turn to social media to make our voices loud.

To be honest, much of this ruckus sounds a whole lot like the clanging cymbals in Corinthians. We mean well, but by being vocal about our position on gay marriage we isolate the ones we are claiming we love. You know, just like the woman saved from being stoned. We’ve switched sides from the protector to the ones throwing the rocks.

They’re causing a lot of damage. Our pharisitical nature has bought a reputation of judgment and condemnation. Not community and love. How are we different from the others on the other side of the religious fence who disagree with gay marriage?

What about our position on other sins? If we are vocal about one sin, why aren’t we vocal about another? What about our laypeople addicted to porn and sleeping around? What about the malicious gossip that destroys peoples’ lives? Stealing? Lying? Manipulation? Oh that we would rip out the log in our own eyes and weep at our short-sightedness! Oh that we would go above and beyond to lament and ask forgiveness so that healing can come!

Have we any right to pass judgment on those outside of our faith? They are not bound to the same commands Jesus has given us. We become the parents who squash their children and repress them. In the end they are bitter and rebel against everything they were taught to believe. Good intentions are now out the window.

As we think about how to vote and believe about gay marriage, remember we are not a theocracy or a Christian nation. The Christian “nation” is not bound by borders. It is the Church and the Kingdom of God. Should we bind and force our morality on those who already resent it? Would there be a better way to hold our beliefs and still advance the Gospel through a better way of loving those around us? If marriage were declared illegal, wouldn’t we still have marriage anyway because it’s biblical? Does it change the fact Christ-based marriage is found in the church?

Thanks Matthew for those lady couple of thoughts.

To my future wife

Hey babe,

I want to tell you a few things before we meet, if we do. I want to say that even though I have a deep longing to meet you one day, I’m also content to speed on the path God has me on. What that path is, who knows. I do know God is in control of this ordered chaos we call life. I’m glad for that. Let me tell you a little about me. I’m a mess. I’m far from the perfect man you imagine me to be.

I grew up in Africa, in the poorest country in the world called Niger. I played in the sand, got dirty, and lived a boy’s dream. I went to a good school, and made many lifelong friends there. As with many TCKs (third culture kid), we come back to our home country. For my preference, it was too soon. I had so many friends and things to do. But I adjusted to Jr. High and High school in the US. I spent many nights missing my friends and frustrated that this wasn’t really “home” to me. Mine was in the desert.

My life went on, I went to college. I lived at a wonderful placed called Paradise Mountain. It’s housing for TCKs like me, funded completely by donations. The problem was, I didn’t feel like I completely fit in there, and neither did I feel like I did with others on campus (to no one’s fault). I have lived a life placed between worlds and never belonging completely to one or the other. College was a wonderful experience that I would never change, and my best memories were made with dear friends. But there I sat, in another world where I didn’t quite fit in.

I’m an American who grew up in Africa, then lived in America, grew to love Jesus, moved to Canada (I’m a halfie), and work construction as a surveyor with many who don’t know Jesus. I belong because of my profession, but I live very differently than most here. Yet I interact and build friendships every day. As I keep going, I hope you can see that I am a man between worlds. In all of this, it reminds me constantly that I have a heavenly home and I don’t quite belong here on earth. To understand me, to understand why I live so free, understand this. It is why I go to great lengths to see a friend and spend time with them. Who knows when I’ll see them again? Why not make the effort to invest what I can while I have the chance? It is so much fun.

Growing up in the desert, and growing up in the woods of Tennessee have forged me into who I am. I regret none of it and frankly I am blessed to have such a life as this.

I grew up knowing about Jesus, but He wasn’t at the forefront of my life. At the end of my Jr. year of high school that changed. Some friends brought me to a good youth group, and God met me there. I got into a wonderful Bible study and was mentored by a great man of God. He’s since passed, but He gave me so much spiritual wisdom. College was wonderful for my spiritual formation as well. A lot of those lessons I learned the hard way, and God was good in those times of learning.

Since college I’ve worked at a fast food place in Tennessee, and at Target in Georgia. Both were good experiences and I put my all into them. While I was in GA I dated and got engaged to a girl there. It didn’t work out, and those details I can tell you in person one day when we meet. Open letters aren’t good for those sorts of things, you know.

Now I find myself living in Alberta working in the oil patch as a surveyor. I like the work, but it’s a lonely walk. See, I work for two to three weeks up north. Not only have I left my friends and family in the US, but also my friends and family that have become dear to me here as well. Back to my life of always leaving and being stuck in between.

God has been so good in all of this. I knew moving would bring a desert season, and I just imagined it as a time of dryness. A time of thirst, a time of baking in the sun, a time of desperately searching for an oasis. As I’ve become accustomed to the sand blowing in my eyes and the feel of the dunes under my toes I’m realizing something. God has brought me back home, to my desert. The place where I played in the sand so much it now runs in my blood (that’s what I tell my African friends — the sand is in my blood). I can’t help but return here. God has been working, with sand blowing and whittling away the ruins of past memories. He’s allowed me to take lessons from those crumbling stones, and put those into action surviving where I am now.

As I said before, He’s given me a blessed life. My goal is to make the most of it, even if I have no idea where I’ll end up or how I’ll be serving Him in the coming years.

So I have some prayers for you, whoever you may be. These prayers will continue and multiply as we grow together.

I pray that you can become content (not apathetic) with who God has made you to be. Your beauty, your gifts and talents, and your place in life. I know it’s tough, believe me. I’m in this process too (no beauty for me though!). I want you to be able to make the most of the seasons you’re in.

I pray that you can see God is in control and sovereign, because whether we live in a mansion or a hut in Africa we must strive to glorify Him.

I pray that you don’t obsess over me in your prayers, because there is so much more to this world than me babe. God has me taken care of, so focus your energy on serving Him.

I pray that you won’t expect yourself to be perfect. We’re humans who are all in process. God gets the glory as we are sanctified by Him. We’ll do that together, hand in hand.

I pray you are a woman between worlds. Maybe it’ll be the jungle. Maybe it’ll be the ocean. Maybe it’ll be a small town. Whatever is your desert, let it remind you you’re not quite home yet.

I pray that your character will grow, and that your beauty will shine from it. As you grow closer to Jesus, so will the fruit you bear from Him increase.

I pray that you can have the grace to deal with me, a messy human being.

I pray above all, even me, you love Jesus. This is the single most important thing to me. This tempers your life and mine. This is the life we are called to live.

Well, it’s getting late. I’m off to sleep, but I hope you’re having a splendid night wherever you are.

The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose.
–Isaiah 35:1

Until then,

I love you.

–Kurt

Words

Wrote this after wanting to take a macro of a pen… and I figured it would be cool to have something to highlight it. I suppose I got carried away with my pen. Oh well. Here it is:

Words on a page
Do they blend together
Do they separate into blooms
Tingling ones’s soul to life

Do they wage war on vanity
Or in a splash of ink wasted
On social media’s righteous war
Bent on settling agenda’s score

Do they speak of beautiful seasons
Of the golden hues of fall
Of the crunch of snow beneath your boots
Words have entranced me in other worlds

Do the worlds you create in anger
Do they still allow others to flourish
Do they simply let them drown in your tyranny
Do they create a world of balanced symmetry

Words on a page say many things
Do they say something worth while
For a laugh for challenge for good
I write, leaving you words on a page.

Conviction

Hey love
I have something
Something to tell you
Truth must be told
About how my love grew

I want you to know
The promises I’ve sewn
Not empty words and sounds
In love they know no bounds

It’s something different from the rest
Not shallowness that fails the test
Hook up culture and it’s lies
I believed in establishing ties

I believe in commitment
As a gift that’s heaven sent
Cherishing you when you don’t
Encouraging you when you can’t

You’re not my addiction
Babe you’re my conviction
To have and to hold
Always as we grow old

Written to noone. I don’t think this expresses my thoughts completely. I’m tired of music that emphasizes the emotional crazed (really, crazed) state of relationships. Few songs focus on a deep, committed, and pure love for a spouse.

A lot of it sounds like a cat call (or just about wanting to get laid), instead of something genuine coming from the heart. Maybe I’ll add to this one day when I’m not sleepy anymore. My thought process started with the last verse, so we shall see what happens with it! Until then, peace.

Mud

I wake up
I can’t breathe
It’s dark
Move?
Yeah right
I feel dirty
I’m wet
And I smell something earthy

I make a lot of effort
Rolling over I see a man
Blue sky behind, face hidden
I still feel dirty, and wet
I realize I smell too

I manage to sit up
From blue sky
And a shadow of a man
My eyes drift down
All I see is dark brown

My hope of getting out
It’s gone
I flop back down exhausted
I’m dirty anyway
I don’t want to be clean

Something catches my eye
Part of my sleeve
It’s a little lighter
My robes were lighter
Not this smelly earthy color

As I sit I think
Why is this man here?
I’m smelling awful
Stains permeate me
Mud cleaves to my soul

His eyes look through me
No, I suppose into me
It’s unsettling
But also a relief
He sees my dirt

Eyes kind and firm
Hands rough and strong
An expression of passion
Who is this man?
Why is he here?

He tells me to take it
To take his hand
I’m worried
Worried I’ll pull him in
He has white robes

He says not to worry
He was made dirty
Already smelled earthy
He did it for me
He loves me

I swallow
And take his hand
Such strength
The air smells clean
It feels good to be upright

Something surprises me
He hands me a robe
Tells me I’m clean
I’m in wonder
I just took his hand

Simply waiting

It started off as a normal day
Bringing kids to school and going to work
Simply going about my day
Evening comes and I’m simply waiting

A knock comes to my door
My heart sinks as an ashened face stares
Wrought with emotion I’m fully aware
His news that’s to come it’s waiting

Through my screams and my tears
It’s not what I expected at all
Not in the line of duty the gall
Murdered thinking of me who’s waiting

Even the thought of justice has been stripped
Along with my husband from my kids is gone
This man loved his job all along
Killed for his title I’m left waiting

He took his life before I could see his taken
All this pain and that’s not the worst
Christmas comes after the funeral first
With my husband wrapped in an empty coffin
I’m always waiting, now

This holiday season will be like no other
White snow around me but blackness in my heart
All from someone who didn’t know us from the start
Our lives are forever changed and I’m forever lost
I’m left simply waiting

I wrote this because of the heartache I can’t imagine the families are going through at losing their loved ones this Christmas season. The families of the two NYPD officers are grieving at their loved ones’ lives whisked from their grasp by a senseless act. I want us to grieve with them, with their loss as our loss. Most of us can’t imagine what they’re going through, but we can try and come along side them. We can cry with them, be angry with them, and hope with them that no one else has to go through having everything taken from them.

Gift

There are days when I wish everything was different
Time was better spent and other choices were made
What to say and what not to say at their right opportunities
Just so that this pain surging between us wasn’t there

Of time and regret I’m aware
Space and seconds can’t heal
In all of this only forgiveness
And I give it to you as a gift

You think back on days gone by with their memories
Pictures scroll by softly bringing a smile
It’s hard not to think of the present as bitter
A reality that betrays the past and what was there

Of time and regret I’m aware
Space and seconds can’t heal
In all of this only forgiveness
And I give it to you as a gift

There are times I think of the pain I’ve been through
And more often I think of the pain you’ve suffered
My hands are bloody from the wounds I’ve caused you
I say I’m sorry I hope one day you’ll meet me there

Of time and regret I’m aware
Space and seconds can’t heal
In all of this only forgiveness
And I give it to you as a gift
No strings attached with this
Love and loyalty I bring
Along with deep hoping
Again we can laugh at the skies
Realize what this gift implies

Purity

I don’t care if my future wife is a virgin before I marry her.

Quite the inflammatory opening statement wrought with questions isn’t it? Let me clear out what I’m not saying before I move into what I am. I’m not saying I don’t care about her character. I’m not saying I will get cheeky under the sheets before our day. I’m not saying I’m indifferent and she can be as promiscuous as she pleases… Etc.

What I am saying is I am marrying her for who she is now, and not who she was in her past. It is behind her, so it is behind me. Haven’t we all had our fair share of mistakes and things we regret? When we get into any sort of relationship we need to be mature enough to understand this. We also know that we are in process. What I care about is who she is now. God has forgiven her, washed her of her sins just as much as God has done for me. He’s done the same for you too. Purity is my concern. Again, taking out the past, it’s about her current attitude and lifestyle. It’s about her dreams of growing in Christ and serving God. That is what purity is, it’s a lifestyle and a set of choices that set us apart. Here is an article that was good that someone posted this week: theresponsechurch.com/i-kept-my-virginity-but-not-my-purity

I’ve heard often enough about the shame people feel about their past, especially when it comes to messing up sexually. Most of us (including me) have borne a lot of shame, and in the Christian world a good amount of judgment as well. What I want to get across is the past is in the past and we can’t keep living in it based on shame for something we’ve been forgiven for. It doesn’t give us the excuse to keep making the same mistakes. It gives us the freedom to grow and move on, seeing our future and ourselves through the lens of what Christ has done for us. If I see anyone (not just a future mate) through the lens of Christ as a brother or sister I see them as forgiven. There are so many examples of Christ loving people as they were, why shouldn’t we be the same?

This post is in a different context of relationships, but the same principle can be carried into other aspects of life. Don’t be quick to judge someone on their past. Don’t be too quick to judge them for who they are now either. See them for what they can be and encourage them to be the best person they can be. Sometimes they won’t see it, but don’t let that deter you. Remind them they are made in the image of God and have intrinsic value, even if they feel their mistakes invalidate God finding worth in them.

We are all humans in need of a Savior, and yes we will make mistakes from time to time but we can’t be judged on our past just to be written off because of it. I suppose this judgement is something that set me off in anger, seeing so many people’s lives and emotions torn apart because of it. I saw some friends turned away from Christ. People assume many Christians’ identity comes from their past and current failure rather than their continuing sanctification as a child of Christ.

They were worth blood on the cross, and the death of a King. He died so they could live, and live their life to the fullest extent. Tell them to achieve their dreams, and tell them to never give up… Never to give into the lies that they will end up a failure and alone.

Life is so full, it’s an incredible thing. Why waste it drowning in the past and suffocating on the future?

This brings me to some music, and some songs by NeedtoBreathe off their new album that were influential in my writing. Check out these songs to gather more of where my mind was at when I was writing this. Rise again – coming through the other side of our past and our hearts changing for the good in the wake of a bitter end. Wasteland – there is a little light to be seen, and that is the hope we need. Difference Maker, Brother, More heart less attack were also very influential.

Part of “No Turning Back” — For King and Country

I’m marching out of the doubt into trust
Out of the me into us
No turning back, no turning back
No turning back
I’m falling head over heels into love
Leaving regret in the dust
No turning back, no turning back
No turning

No turning back, no

And If I’m caught in the crossfire
I will stand my ground
And even if I were to lose my life
Your arms are where I’ll be found

 

Thankful

Things I’m thankful for in no order:
Family and friends who’ve loved me and stuck with me through everything. I’m thankful they can spend Thanksgiving with family. The blessed life I’ve been given. A roof over my head, and warmth away from the snow. A great company to work for and great people to work with. Having all 5 senses present to be able to fully experience the world around me, and a whole body to move in. I will not always have this, and I don’t want to take it for granted. I am thankful for a clear mind to write.

I am thankful for the ease of which I have to get a meal to eat. I am thankful that I have a job where I can work on paying off college debt. I am thankful for the chance to learn outside of school something completely new. I am thankful for the opportunity to grow in every season should I choose to.

I’m thankful that even though I am away, I can still communicate with those I love on a day like today. I am thankful for three adorable neices, loving brothers, their awesome wives, wonderful parents, and caring family everywhere I’ve been.

I am  thankful for redemption and a chance at new life. I am thankful for a Savior who loves me. I am thankful for His sacrifice so that I can have life, and live it to the full no matter the circumstance because I have a greater hope. I am thankful for grace. I am thankful for love, and all who have shown it to me. I’m thankful for those who haven’t, so that I might have chance to show love to them.

I’m thankful for snow, cold, and all its beauty. I’m thankful that it reminds me there are other seasons, each with their own beauty. I’m thankful for good shows, movies, books, and people who share good stories.

I’m thankful for all my friends and family God has protected, worked through, and the chance to see Him change their lives. I’m thankful He has changed mine. I’m thankful for all the freedoms I enjoy in the US and in Canada and for the men and women have sacrificed everything for it.

I am thankful to those brave enough to read to the end of my long-windedness, I know I’ll think of more later.

I am thankful for the chance to reflect on what I am thankful for 🙂