Gift

There are days when I wish everything was different
Time was better spent and other choices were made
What to say and what not to say at their right opportunities
Just so that this pain surging between us wasn’t there

Of time and regret I’m aware
Space and seconds can’t heal
In all of this only forgiveness
And I give it to you as a gift

You think back on days gone by with their memories
Pictures scroll by softly bringing a smile
It’s hard not to think of the present as bitter
A reality that betrays the past and what was there

Of time and regret I’m aware
Space and seconds can’t heal
In all of this only forgiveness
And I give it to you as a gift

There are times I think of the pain I’ve been through
And more often I think of the pain you’ve suffered
My hands are bloody from the wounds I’ve caused you
I say I’m sorry I hope one day you’ll meet me there

Of time and regret I’m aware
Space and seconds can’t heal
In all of this only forgiveness
And I give it to you as a gift
No strings attached with this
Love and loyalty I bring
Along with deep hoping
Again we can laugh at the skies
Realize what this gift implies

Sometimes the person we need to forgive most is ourselves

I’m the hardest person on me, because I expect perfection out of myself. When I don’t perform the way I think I should I rip myself apart and replay events over and over in my head as to how I could have done different. That cycles into remorse because I didn’t do what I need to, and in some cases deep overwhelming sadness depending on what it is. I don’t usually have issues forgiving others because I can’t control what they do. I have a hard time with myself because I am the one who does those actions.

What I’ve learned is God’s forgiveness extends beyond my own judgement and harshness. His grace and mercy don’t run out. If he has already forgiven me, when He KNEW I was going to do all these things… How can I not learn to forgive myself like he had forgiven me? His love is beyond our imagining and that is directed towards us, who are in the center of the bullseye of our judgement